User:Mallowleaf/Sandbox

Jasmine Reviews
Jasmine 9/21/08. chapter 2 Darling, let me count the problems with that fanfic:

1: The plot. Seriously, a freakin' KIT killing the leader and a fellow kit within hours of his birth? So many words could describe that, but I think I'll use one that your obviously tiny brain can understand. Stupid. Very, very stupid. Is this seriously the best you have done, hon?

2: The names. Don't even get me started. Puh-Leaze. Like Raven said, are you a two year old? Most of them want me to barf my brains out!

3: You know how you can usually tell if a book will be good or bad just by reading the first few sentences? I read the first few, saw the use of exclamation marks, and immediately knew that this would be a horrible fan fiction. And lord behold, I was correct. Stop the overuse of exclamation marks. Please. Have some mercy.

4: The characters reactions to things are horrible. One I find particularly irritating is Glasswater's reaction after her kit died. Horrible. When cats die, there should usually be more than a sentence about it and not just "Oh, boo hoo, our leader is dead. Too bad so sad, whose going to lead us next?" Makes me want to gouge out my eyes.

5: The sentence structure: Many times, mainly when the characters are speaking, the sentence structure isn’t great. And inn some cases that’s putting it lightly, hon.

And finally, I do believe that it is either you reviewing your own fan fiction, or you getting your friends to review with praise. If not all of your fans are your bribed friends, then most of them. I think that most of the human race is smarter than to review this with such praise.

I do like some of the comments of others here, (the only ones who seem to have some sense) I don’t think Soviet is being at all mean, stating the facts.

I’ll stick around, and perhaps you’ll see some reviews from me later. I hope that my eyes won’t be burning at those times as much as they are now.

If you think that I’m being overly cruel, I have some advice for you. Go dig a hole and die in it. Or, you can go cry me a river and drown in it. Either do one of those, or seriously work on improving the things stated above. Do something to stop making me want to barf when I read your fanfiction, will you darling?

I’ll stick around hon,to see if you have any problems with what I've said, or if you actually take some of my words to heart. Perhaps you’ll see some reviews from me later.

Until next time, darling.

Jasmine 9/27/08. chapter 3 I assure you all, dears, that I am much more mature and grown up than many of you calling us 'big fat meanies'.

To Tainted Purification: As I said before, (This is of course in response to your lovely little note at the beginning of that latest chapter in that thing barely fit to be called writing) Go cry me a river and drown in it. I'm not green with envy right now, darling. My skin is a healthy shade of peach, no green tint. If there is green on my skin, it's the result of nausea from reading this. My eyes are burning, my stomach is churning, and I do believe that doctors should prescribe this fan fiction when their patients eat something they shouldn't. They'll throw up immediately and be all better, other than the emotional scar of reading this of course.

But I'm not going to count down all of the things wrong with this fan fiction, hon. I don't believe that numbers can reach so high.

I do believe that you’re not even trying, and if you are...sad. Are you trying to get criticism so that you can call us meanies, stupid, jealous? I invite you to come out of the shell that you live in, and come to the real world. A world where you in fact, are not queen, and everyone does not sing praise to you. It’s a little land called reality, darling. Yes, it is a harsh world at times, but if you improved this trash you call your best fanfic and raise your maturity level it could be a world where you would not have to whine endlessly about flamers who are stating the truth.

Until next time, darling.

0-Jasmine-0 10/1/08. chapter 1 HA!

Darling... You think we're jealous of you? Seriously? That shows just how conceited you are. Are all reveiws that do not sing praise going right through your thick skull? It is obvious that you are not a high and almighty writer hon, so stop acting like one!

Get off your high horse, come down to earth, and accept the fact that while I may flame you perhaps your attitude contributes to my enthusiasm for the sport. Your writing hasn't improved at all since the first chapter and it's obvious that you're not taking the advice of anyone who actually is making sense. I'll be back if you don't heed my advice and the advice of every other person who isn't singing praise and I'd rather not ruin my eyesight any more, so please listen this time.

Until next time, darling.

0-Jasmine-0 10/4/08. chapter 5 We're stupid, darling? I encourage you to look at that lovely note at the beginning of that latest trash chapter (actually, look at any example of your writing) and then decide who is the stupid one.

As usual, it was the kind of writing that I've come to expect from you. And no, dear, that isn't a compliment.

Until next time, darling.

Jasmine

0-Jasmine-0 10/5/08. chapter 6 Do I detect a subtle hint in that latest thing you claim is writing?

I was first on the list! Thanks, dear! I'm so honoured!

Now, I do want to be at least a little helpful this review, so here's my statement which you can turn into advice:

As usual, the overuse of exclamation points burns my eyes, hon.

Until next time, darling.

Jasmine

0-Jasmine-0 10/6/08. chapter 2 Oh, I see. You're mocking me, is that right? Work on your impersonating skill a lil' mkay? And I'm sorry dear, but the dark forest isn't accessible to twolegs. Such a shame, hm?

Until next time, darling.

Jasmine

0-Jasmine-0 10/6/08. chapter 3 Dear...

If you have a problem with me, message me about it. I'm tired of people arguing with me in the company of others so that they have someone to support them. And if you're too chicken to talk to me alone, then simply refrain from talking to me at all. I'll be waiting for your message, hon.

Jasmine

(Reply to: ItalianSoda 10/6/08 . chapter 6 Dearest Jasmine, I've been wondering - does anyone actually take you seriously when every other word you write is 'hon' or 'darling'? You might want to try expanding your vocabulary next time you decide to flame someone. Maybe try for a bit of variety, hm?)

0-Jasmine-0 10/11/08. chapter 7 Darling...

You have gone to far with this latest chapter. Horrible names, horrible grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Yet I could put up with that. What you talked about in that latest chapter is too far. I don't know if you're trying to make yourself seem too childish, but rape is not as light of a subject as you make it seem. It is rather serious, and not good at all. Use that brain, however tiny your knowledge and intelligence may be, and think next time before you sit down to type. Were so lacking in muse that you decided 'hey, let's have a character raped!' Well? Were you? Rape is a serious thing, not something funny to be written of just because you feel like it.

...

As usual, it was the horrible writing that I expect from you, dear.

To all who have spoken to me on reviews: My inner princess was just killed by Jasmine's lack of intelligence. If you honestly think, that that latest chapter was wonderful… What kind of sick twisted minds do you have?

I will repeat this one last time: Rape is a serious thing and should not be spoken about so lightly. Trust me.

Until next time, hon…

Jasmine

Jasmine 10/20/08. chapter 8 ... Well, at least you took me out of this thing you call writing. Delicacies always taste bad to those unwilling to appreciate them.

Let me guess what will be the common reply to me: "Jasmine, your writing isn't so great either." Did I ever claim that I wrote "The Intruder's"? My little sister wanted to see how her writing would do on. She doesn't have an account yet so she used mine. There goes the reply that the accounts of 'Tainted Purification/Lucy' and others could use.

Anyways. Will you at least try to cut back on the Exclamation marks, hon? I'm sure they're no help to your eyes either.

Until next time, darling...

Jasmine

Jasmine 11/6/08. chapter 10 Dear...

Despite the doubts that have hung with me since your first chapter, I am now convinced, as are others. You're obviously people with lives, however pitiful they may be, and you all write at least a tiny bit better than TP. The joke is over. Run along and dream up some other pathetic prank. If you actually continue this piece of crap, though everyone can see through your thin veil of disguise, then I do believe you're worse than TP at persistence. And no, that's not a compliment.

Until next time, dearie...

Jasmine

0-Jasmine-0 1/9/09. chapter 14 Will you stop putting me in this? You've made your point, you don't like me, and I've made it clear that I am none too fond of you either. I asked you before, and I'll tell you again.

Stop making references to me before I get really pissed off.